**The late night irony.**
The greatest irony of love..
is letting go when you need to hold on
and
holding on when you need to let go.
how true.
Good Night.
⥠you and i both loved
::"How do...."::
How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it?
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn and run away
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do,
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad,
So how do I live...how do I deal without you?
"...every night
i held my breathe and closed my eyes.
and pray it would all go away..."
⥠you and i both loved
::Morning Tears::
I don't understand why i feel the same way again and again, the same goddamn time.
Suddenly i am hit by wave upon wave of sinking gloom and sooner or later my vision grows limited, my breathing dulls down to a sullen whimper and automatically, as if by some twisted means of fate - i stumble across you. This time, in something i've saved and kept locked away since you left.
The stuffs you made and gave me...letters...cards....etc.....
If you, who have been in my thoughts for all these while, is reading this, then i must have you know - that it would mean the world to me -
if you would just ask me for the stuffs u gave,
and read it....
Read it the way i just have.
Smile the way i did
...........and cry the way i have been crying,
all these times....
Good Morning..to all....
⥠you and i both loved
Now...at this moment....
at 6.45am......
i cant believe .....
i'm actually typing this.....
maybe cuz i juz gt up
feeling so f*cked up and lousy....
at this moment......
i'm really in need of a shoulder.....
a shoulder to cry on.....
so help me God
so here i am now....
at this moment.....
at 6.45am.....
"dear god......
on my knees right now....
with my eyes being slowly fiiled up with tears
i beg.....
i beg for you to heal my wounds.....
i beg for you to take away my misery.....
i bed for you to take away my sadness and pain....
cuz only You've seen... knew what i've gone through
and how i suffered.
........
............
................
and only You....
can help
thank you"
⥠you and i both loved
If you see me walking down the street
Staring at the sky
And dragging my two feet
You just pass me by
It still makes me cry
But you can make me whole again
And If you see me with another girl
I'm Laughin and I'm jokin'
Tryin to get by
I Won't put you down
Cuz i want you around
You can make me whole again
Looking back on when we first met
I can not escape
I can not forget
Girl you're the one,
you still turn me on
You can make me whole again
Time is layin' heavy on my heart
Seems I've got too much of it
Since we've been apart
My friends make me smile
If only for while
You can make me whole again
For now I'll have to wait
But if you change your mind
Don't be too late
Cause I just can't go on
It's already been too long
But you could make me whole again
⥠you and i both loved
i tried
there nothing more that i can do.
its pretty clear where and what it is.
its moments like this i wish i wasnt human enough.
i do wish sometimes... but its just wishful thinking me.
===========================
*******"everything i am trying do,**********
* is to bring myself one step closer to you.*
******* but am i moving backwards?********
*********** are you moving away? **********
************* or isit just me?"***************
===========================
⥠you and i both loved
*** "i" ***
i placed this heart once in your hand.
you held it close, you held it wise.
but soon, you open up your fingers too fast.
and there it was. this heart. it fell to the ground.
with a thud, with a noise.
it lay flat with the occasional pump.
my job was to pick myself up.
i did.
so now, here it is.
i place this heart in a jar. and hide it so that no one else could touch it.
i see them. in them, i see you.
at the end of the day, i know im denying this.
but i do,
still
miss you...
⥠you and i both loved
I don't say it as often as i used to....
cause now....
i no longer have the chance to even say it....
But i still do.....
....I.M.U....
(Take Good Care)
⥠you and i both loved
" It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one -
but there's something about us i want to say -
Cuz there's something between us, anyway.
I might not be the right one -
It might not be the right time
but there's something about us i've got to do;
some kind of secret i will share with you."
⥠you and i both loved
***DISTANT MEMORY***
A simple thought i'd dreamed
A thought so real so strange i feel
A calling somewhere close so real
A place i'd keep in memories
I thought that you would still be mine
In heart in soul to keep in time
A distant memory so fine
I'll never ever leave behind;
A distant memory
Remembering the wounds that cannot heal
I cannot hear the words
or feel the way you wanted me to be
A distant memory
remembering the wounds that cannot heal
I put the pains of life behind to seek
This distant memory.
Remembering the times,
That you were mine,
And everything was fine;
The caution thrown behind,
To distant winds,
Beneath the sands of time;
I thought that you would be the same,
These thoughts they drive me so insane,
Each time spent looking back,
The pain attacks, the day turns to the rain.
A distant memory,
Remembering the wounds that cannot heal,
I cannot hear the words,
or feel the way you wanted me to be ;
A distant memory,
Remembering the wounds that cannot heal;
I put the pains of life behind,
To seek this distant memory.
Now you've come back,
The pain attacks,
The thing i lack,
Won't you come back
To me, you'll see
I've broken free
My hidden glee
And wounds to be,
A distant memory,
Remembering the wounds that cannot heal,
I cannot hear the words,
or feel the way you wanted me to be ;
A distant memory,
Remembering the wounds that cannot heal;
I put the pains of life behind,
To seek this distant memory.
"remembering the memories of you.....
of a distant memory...."
⥠you and i both loved
What caused the nose to bleed......
seriously.....
i don't really know.....
does it scares me?.....
well, i don't think so .....
hmm....
2 months....since it started bleeding very badly....
Usually, it seldom bleed.
But recently, it bleed like a running tap water
It bleeds without any signs or warning...
Yes i've started counting....
14 scary times that it had bleed.
One or maybe two boxes of tissues always comes in handy...
Talking about nose bleed.....
It reminded me of "someone" way back during secondary school....
All i can say...that "someone" was one of the special person in my life...
She too had the same problem as me.
Frequently...her nose will bleed....
And as the usual naughty me...i used to call her names like "bloody nose girl" and stuff.
Yes i know...i was bad.
I swear i was just teasing.
I thought that due to heaty stuff it caused her nose to bleed.
.....
........
...........
Unfortunately...only after she was gone....
i was told that all these while she was sick....
She seemed to be so healthy and cheerful when she was alive.
Sometimes sickness doesn't really shows.
Well life is unpredictable.
So...What's causing my nose to bleed??
Some said, it was due to heaty stuff i ate....
Some said, it was due to the hatred by someone that they took
revenge on me by putting evil spells or curse on me....
Some said, i may be suffering from some sickness.....
Well...the reasons above seems possible.
But..I've yet to know the truth....
and i rather not know the truth....
Whether my life is going to be cut short or not, suffering or not....
that i have to let fate decide...
For me, death isn't something to be scred off...
because eventually, you still have to go.
Like what i always tell myself and the others..
"When you've got to go....You've got to go"
As for the bleeding....i'll get to know the cause of it sooner or later.
*For all those who cared: Don't worry...i'll do whatever that is right and best for me*
...Happy New Year and Best Wishes to all...and Happy "bloody" New Year to me...
⥠you and i both loved